This week I realized that I have set too high of goals for myself. I don’t have enough time in the day for the goals that truly ignite me — my acting career — because I’ve set my goals for my other projects too high.
I was feeling pulled in too many directions, constantly pushing myself to be focusing on A,B, C, & Z all at once.
But what I really need to do is breathe.
And realize my priorities.
I can’t build Rome, Paris, and London in a day, but I could build one. Well, not a day, but you see what I mean.
I was asking myself to find the solution to my housing, memorize my restaurant’s menu, develop a script, go to workshops, write for We’re Not Starving, build an Instagram following, and pursue acting….Yeah, no wonder I felt like I was spinning in circles.
So, I decided it was time to manage my goals. If all I wanted to do was write for WNS, my current goal is a good one. It’s high and forces me to kick into high gear. I like that; I want to work hard, learn, and see results.
But writing with the intent of inspiring other artists was inspiring myself to do more and find more creative solutions to getting where I want to go… and I didn’t have time for it.
The past couple of days I’ve allowed myself to focus on acting more, and it’s been so fun! A good reminder of why I’m here and why I do it.
I’ve been rehearsing this monologue from Dennis Kelly’s play The Ritual Slaughter of Gorge Mastromas. It’s so juicy and so fun. There is no character description, and so the monologue could be done so many different ways. Rehearsing that, allowing myself to be weird or big or crazy, is such a joy.
I watch all of my TV in Spanish, so that I can push myself to think in Spanish and to learn the language, but I realized ONLY watching anything in Spanish was limiting my growth and research. So, I decided to let myself take a step back and watch something in English, so I could watch performances I knew would be incredible. (I know there are incredible Spanish performances as well, but I need to do research to find the outstanding work, versus the fun shows I’ve been watching.)
So I watched The Dark Knight again. I wanted to watch Heath Ledger as the Joker… his performance is so well-done. You could watch that movie a thousand times and find more to learn from him.
I also decided to let go of writing a pilot right now. While I want to be writing creatively, I just can’t do it all. And maybe next week or next month I can reassess, but there is only so much time in the day, and I want to enjoy it.
Making these choices has given me a little more air over the past few days. And faith that everything will work out.
How are your goals?
Are they setting you down the path you most desire?
Or are they pushing you to grow in the wrong direction?